I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
