Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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