Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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