She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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