Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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