How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
