im holly from the hills drunk
This house was built for laser tag.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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