her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
