U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
