Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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