question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
