its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
