can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
