I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
