is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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