My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
