Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
