You work out of a Hotel?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
