I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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