she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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