she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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