i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
