then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
