I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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