living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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