just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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