Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
