so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
