community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
