After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
