There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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