how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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