if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
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