He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
