And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
