honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
