I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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