So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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