carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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