Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
