I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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