I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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