I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
