Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
