Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
