...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
