If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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