i just had sex bonerless
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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