Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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