I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
