how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
