so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
