So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
